Sometimes I say I miss and get caught on the pause…

Sometimes I say I miss and get caught on the pause…

I can’t even exhale. I wonder if it is fear that has the grip on my exhalation.  I may just feel like I am missing out on my own life. I feel like I have moments recalling something that has never happened to me before and I want to feel it again for the first time; Because I miss it. Maybe it is in my mind. Is it possible to be trapped in your own mind? . I have desires and I long for what I could have done, can be, and am able of doing…but that just causes the guilt to start.

Am I envious of my aptitude? Am I lamenting my potential? Is this dreaming? If so, why does this hurt?

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